The Island of Misfit Food

This architectural endeavor, originating in South Korea, makes sense in an abstract sort of way: you know, pasta eating becomes portable and therefore more convenient (actual logistics aside). However, I’ve always had a problem with the carbs-inside-carbs thing. In Japan, I used to see soba-in-hot-dog-buns all the time— I didn’t get it then, and I don’t get it now. It lacks elegance. (I know, pasta in a waffle cone lacks elegance— who knew?) It’s kind of the like the turducken to me: let’s put some stuff in some stuff, and, since it’s all the sort of the same stuff, it will kind of clever.

True, I think this is a naked mole rat (a creature which hasn’t really had any relevance since Kim Possible), and that alone is a questionable subject for a cake. However, the spray-painting technique thing that the artist (and I use that word loosely) is really, really unsightly. Frighteningly so. To be sure, the naked mole rat is not a conventionally beautiful critter, but the paint job emphasizes two things: a) the unfortunate shade that is the nake mole rat’s skin, and b) poor cakesmanship. For shame.

Oh god, the tongue.

Ah, the monkfish. So many questions about this slapped-by-the-ugly-stick fish. Why does it taste like lobster? Is that expression because it’s happy to see you? Or is it angry it’s on a plate? Maybe it’s concerned about your protein intake? Or perhaps it’s just the second child of Satan?

Call me jaded, but I just don’t find these that gross. Yes, it is a little dissonant— I mean pouring cupcake batter into sausage casing is certainly weird— but I reward the innovation. Grilled cupcakes… who knew? (Oh yes, they are formally called cupcakewurst.)

Remembering the trauma that Queen Gohma installed in me early on, I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to eat lychees quite so rapaciously.

And lo, they beheld the (bottom half) of the fertility god. Almost as popular as tortilla chip Jesus.

Maybe this tastes good, but I’m skeptical of dipping a sandwich into a bowl of popcorn. It just seems like a perverse confusion of textures. And peeling open a grilled cheese sandwich is just kind of dirty.

I recommend checking out some of the other creations on this page. I don’t know what minds are behind “Popcorn World,” and I think I’m scared to find out.